Our Mini-Vacation Debacle

It started off with lots of hopes and plans.  I had to travel to the coast for work.  One day of meetings, then the weekend would belong to my husband, my kids, and me.  Mileage paid down there and back, and the hotel room provided.  Sounds great, right?  Well.........

Let me count the things that went wrong.

1.  Car battery completely died when I was already late for one of the two meetings I had to attend.  (Though I do have to admit the car battery at $100 was still much cheaper than the $1000 alternator we thought it was.)

2.  Both boys managed to trash their bedroom at the hotel within MINUTES of arrival.  We tipped the maid.    Generously.  Okay, maybe not, but after the car battery, leaving her two of my favorite Mango Fruit Bars in the Fridge were all I could do.

3.  Neither boy would eat anything on vacation that wasn't junk food or a Happy Meal from the Golden Arches.  I am heartily sick of McD's.  And who goes to the beach and does NOT eat seafood?  My oddball children, I guess.

4.  I forgot to pack the oldest child any shirts.  I packed everything else.  But I forgot shirts for him.

5.  The oldest boys swim trunks were too small, so he had to swim in a pair of shorts.

6.  Our one foray to the beach ended up in us leaving almost immediately because the beach and the water were infested with jellyfish.  I did not relish the idea of spending one night of our vacation in the local ER due to jellyfish stings on my children who can create major drama out of papercuts.  And then refuse band-aids.  Yes, I have the only child on earth that WON'T wear band-aids.

7.  It was VACATION, so, of course, we all stayed up late.  And children being children that we have to drag out of bed during the school week, were up voluntarily at the crack of dawn.  So, for the sake of "Fun," Dad and I tolerated the whining, resisted the urge to buy duct tape in bulk to combat the bickering and fighting, bit our tongues to keep from screaming obscenities we thought we had forgotten at them, and generally decided we were going to have fun if it KILLED US!!!  Dammit!  And it almost did.

8.  I got sick with a Sinus Infection and felt miserable all day Saturday and Sunday.

9.  A half mile from home, M. decided to push the limits too far.  He spit on his brother.  In the car.  So dad finally gave him the spanking he swore M had been begging for since we left home last Friday.

10.  While we were gone, our two little puppies decided to pee in every available room in the house.  Fortunately, they stuck to the laminate areas and not the carpet.  Which brings us to . . . .

11.  Our German Weimaraner (who has separation anxiety issues by his breed) decided to take out his frustrations and anxiety by crapping on our relatively new carpet.  In multiple places.  Let me tell you, big dogs make BIG messes.

12.  So he's shampooing the carpet.  I'm doing laundry.  The boys are in the bedroom singing, "We will, We will, MOCK YOU!"  over and over and over.  Just that line.  And, yes, I know the line is supposed to be "rock you," but at the moment their version seems more appropriate.

So, there is the story of our mini-vacation.  Doesn't sound like much fun, does it?  It might be salvaged if one of you three readers would come shampoo the carpets, mop the floors, and fix me a drink.  A large one.

*Sigh*  I didn't think so.